A recent study published in February 2023 suggests that you need to set boundaries to save your sanity—and maybe even your life.
Lawyers are more than twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts than the U.S. population of working people over age 18 as a whole according to a survey of almost 2,000 lawyers in California and Washington, D.C. conducted by Krill Strategies and the University of Minnesota Department of Psychiatry. Particularly at risk are junior attorneys and attorneys working more than 60 hours per week. Moreover, lawyers who were “overcommitted” to their work were more than twice as likely to consider suicide than those who maintained boundaries.
Saying no can be uncomfortable, but saying yes to everything isn’t a sustainable in the long run. Therefore, you need to learn to say no in a way that shows your good intentions and leaves everyone feeling positive about the outcome. How do you do that?
Pause and reflect
Understand the request. What’s the importance of the assignment, and what exactly is expected of you? What are the advantages to you taking on the task and the costs—if you refuse—to you, the person asking, or the firm?
The best way to say no is not to refuse outright, but to deploy other tactics to make sure the work gets done well and on time, while also protecting your well-being.
Weigh priorities
What’s on your plate? What are the deadlines for your current projects? Can anything be reprioritized? Just saying “I don’t have time” potentially could lead to the firm questioning your dedication, effectiveness, and efficiency.
You might say, “In taking this on, I want to make sure I don’t drop the ball on other priorities.” Ask about the timeline on the assignment being presented. Is there any flexibility?
Offer alternative timelines which would allow you to handle the new project: “I’m swamped today but I can work on that later this week. If the deadline can be extended, I might be able to accommodate this. Please let me know if that works.” This allows you to set limits, but also lets the firm know that you’re open to taking on the assignment.
Collaborate on the solution
Lay out what you’re working on, how long it’s taking, and what you would have to delay or stop doing in order to take on the new task. Your tone should be collaborative and problem-solving. “I’ll be able to do A, B, and C this week, but not D and E. Let me know if you want me to prioritize those differently.” Or “If this is the priority, I can start working on it right away. However, that means I won’t get X done for another two weeks. Is that OK?”
The best thing about this approach is that, along with demonstrating everything on your plate, you’re giving the requester the opportunity to weigh in on what’s most important. That way, the new project can be passed to someone else or held for later. Or if it needs your attention now, you have permission to de-prioritize other tasks.
Offer Alternatives
Delegate: Is there someone else at the firm who either could step in to assist you on this or your other projects, or even take over those projects? There may be another attorney who has more expertise in the subject matter or who expressed a desire to take on more of this specific type of work.
Pitch in: Is there a way you can be helpful to the project within your boundaries? Explain what you can do and offer some options for how to proceed. For example, “I can have an outline and most of a draft ready by Thursday. I probably wouldn’t have it completely polished until Monday. If you need the finished project before then, perhaps someone else could take it from there to complete it on time. Would that work?”
Juggling multiple taskmasters
If your firm doesn’t have a streamlined work assignment system and you receive work from more than one person, they might not be consulting with one another to see what’s already on your plate. So while one may ask for something, that doesn’t necessarily mean they would prioritize it over your other tasks.
Therefore, you need to be the traffic cop. It’s up to you to keep everyone in the loop, lest they overwhelm you with assignments that you realistically won’t get done well or on time. You can say, “Here are the other things that are on my plate. Perhaps you weren’t aware, but partner A asked me to handle X assignment as a high priority. I need some clarification from both of you as to what gets the highest priority.
If you must say no
Be clear, firm, and straightforward but not adversarial. Have the conversation in private, and be tactful and respectful. Keep it factual and work-related, use neutral language and avoid personalizing the situation. Feelings should not be part of the conversation.
Before you decline the request, thank them for giving you this opportunity and for having confidence in your abilities. Be empathetic and acknowledge that it wasn’t what the requester wanted to hear. Prepare for the possibility of negative feedback but keep calm and stand your ground.
Communicate your priorities so that they know why you are saying no. “I’m on several deadlines. I understand this is important and must be done thoroughly, but unfortunately I don’t have enough time on my schedule to give this assignment the attention it deserves.”
Couch it in terms of benefit to the firm; you’re looking out for the firm’s best interests. Talk about maintaining the quality of client service which, of course, would be negatively impacted if matters were handled by exhausted, stressed-out, inefficient lawyers in a hurry—but say it tactfully.
Once you determine that you’re not able to complete a task, don’t wait to have that conversation. If you delay, it only makes it more difficult to re-organize the work and get it done in a timely fashion.
End with a firm “Thank you for understanding.”
The trick is getting your point across without actually using the word “no.”
